


Promise

by Lady_Jane666



Series: The Bride of the Baptist - Side Stories, prompts and Oneshots [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Issues, John and MJ really are precious when they want to be, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Jane666/pseuds/Lady_Jane666
Summary: One-Shot - Set Pre-GameJohn comes home earlier than expected and he and Mary Jane have a conversation about Joseph and his plans for John.
Relationships: John Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Bride of the Baptist - Side Stories, prompts and Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879210
Kudos: 6





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey!
> 
> This little oneshot was inspired by a conversation that I had with my friend and writing partner, Anthropasaurus, where were talking about random HCs about John and MJ...and she said she totally saw John as the type of guy who comes home and just kinda smooshes MJ till he has gotten his fill of love and affection... and that HC... turned into this feels fest!
> 
> This does go hand in hand with my fic The Gospel of Mary Jane, though this takes place a bit in the future.

In the weeks after Lily was born and we moved into the Ranch in Holland Valley, I had expected things to be simple. For John and I to spend all this time together with our perfect little girl. Just being the happy family we both wanted to be. Joseph, however, had different ideas of how John needed to spend his time. No consideration to the fact that I needed John more than he did, but that never mattered to Joseph. He kept John busy, looking at land they were trying to acquire. Picking now to be the moment that John needed to start making political connections within the county. He couldn’t have done this sooner or in a few months, no. It had to be now. 

John was gone from before I got up in the morning and most nights lately he had just crawled into bed besides me at night, whispering about how much he missed me as I tried to wake up. Only to always have him tell me to go back to sleep. The only time he got to see our daughter was when he would get up in the middle of the night. Sacrificing what little sleep he would have gotten, to get up with her throughout the night. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. He was ragged and on the edge. I honestly believe to this day that Joseph did all this with that purpose and intent. 

I tried to tell John this in half-asleep conversations but John always felt guilty for waking me and begged me to go back to sleep with a promise of talking about it next day. That never happened because the cycle would only repeat itself. After a week solid of not seeing John for more than a few hazy moments I felt very alone in this new life.

After settling Lily in her bassinet one afternoon I laid down on the couch, pulled my grey fleece blanket over my head as I softly sobbed. This was not what I had planned. This was not what John had promised. This was exactly why we said we hadn’t wanted children when we lived in Atlanta. John would never be home. He would miss everything and it would all fall to me. It was unfair and we both knew this, worst of all John wanted to be there. He wanted to be home and I knew this.

Allowing myself the luxury of a good cry, I sobbed into the pillow trying to release some of the pent up emotion before I did give into my own exhaustion and doze off. I am not sure how much time passed, but I awoke when I felt weight on top of me and smelt the all too familiar smell of soap and tinge of cigarette smoke. “John..” I murmured sleepily as I opened my eyes. Sure enough John was sprawled across me, his arms slipped under me clutching me tightly, his head rested against my chest. I was surprised to see him home as the afternoon sunlight broke in through the large windows. “You’re home..” I whispered as I pulled his sunglasses off the top of his head and placed them on the back of the couch. My hand returned to gently stroke his thick black hair. 

John murmured “I can’t do this…” against my chest. I wasn’t sure what he meant. His grip around me tightened as he clung to me. “How can he expect me to live like this, Mary... “ 

“Joseph?” I asked softly looking down at him as I continued to stroke his hair. 

Nodding John answered, “Who else?” He sighed before looking up at me, my hand stilling before I slid it down across his cheek. “Jacob had to make up some excuse for them to go off, just so I could come home… I couldn’t stop thinking about you being here by yourself with Lily all day...everyday..” I sighed and started to shake my head but John continued. “Baby, no… listen. Joseph has said no one can come visit you… like he is trying..” 

“He is always trying something, John.” I sigh, shaking my head. “He will never get his way, I am too stubborn and you know that.” 

“He wants to punish me for disobeying him and taking you to the hospital..” John murmured as he turned his head back into my chest.

“He can fuck right off, you saved me… you saved Lily…” I declare emphatically. “Don’t let Joseph make you feel like shit for being a good father and husband because he wasn’t” I slipped my hand under his chin and made him look up at me. Our eyes lock. “You are a good father and husband, John… do not let your brother make you feel like you are otherwise.” 

“He said I let Lily be born by unnatural means surrounded by sinners…” He confessed softly, his voice heavy like he believed what Joseph had told him. 

I scoff as I shake my head. “She was not going to come out shoulder first, she would have died… I would have died… did he want us to die?” 

“He said if it was God’s plan..” he answered meekly. 

A fury grew deep within me as I shook my head. “Like hell,” I mutter bitterly. “He wants you to be as broken of a man as he is… and can’t stand that you actually were happy..” John shook his head not wanting to believe what I was saying. “It’s the truth and you know it.” 

“He says pain and loss…” John started but stopped as he heard his own hollow words. He held me tighter and shook his head. “I am filled with Greed for selfishly wanting to keep both of you alive… I know this..” 

“No, that is Love…” I cut him off. “You love me, right?” 

“More than anything.” He responded. 

“You love Lily…” 

“With everything in me, I would die for her… for you both…” The conviction of his words shook me. I knew he would, I knew he would do more if it meant protecting us. 

I ran my hand across his cheek, “I know,” I reassured him. “Because I see the good man that you are.” I whispered as John looked up at me. He crawled up me just a bit so his face was hovering over mine. 

“Really?” He asked tenderly as he caressed my cheek. “You think that…” 

“I know it.” I answer back. John leaned down and stroked my cheek again as his lips brushed against mine. I leaned forward and deepened the kiss as my hand slipped up the back of his neck pulling him down to me. I broke the kiss, pushing his disheveled hair off his face as I looked up at him. “I know who you are in your heart… not what the world has turned you into… I see it everytime you look at Lily that part of you is still there.” I tried to keep my tone tender despite the fact that Joseph twisting John so, made me deeply upset. John has his faults, he always would, but he was trying to be a good man. He saw Eden’s Gate as his chance to do that and now his own brother was twisting him to a point I had not seen him get to since we had been together. 

John shook his head not wanting to believe anything I was saying. “I can’t be… there is this… part of me.” I knew the headspace he was in. It had taken years of me reassuring him that he wasn’t the man that the Duncan’s had told him he was. At times I knew he still would go there all on his own. However, Joseph doing what he was, was making sure that John would go back to that self-loathing, having to please everyone place that left him vulnerable and easy to prey upon.. 

I took his head in my hands and forced him to look at me. “John, you are not. The Duncans were fucking monsters… You have goodness in you.” He shook his head in my hands but I wouldn’t relent. “Do you think if you were that monster that you think you are that I would be with you? That I would have married you, had a child with you…” John stilled and looked down at me like a helpless child. “Baby… please…” 

“I have done so much to hurt you, I have betrayed you..” 

“In the past, that is not who you are right now…” I quickly cut him off. I winced from the pressure of him leaning on me so soon after my C-section and John pulled back his hands running down my side as he sat up. Shifting so my back was against the pillow I had been resting my head on I looked over at John as his eyes drifted to the bassinet. “You are not that person anymore…” 

“I am though… the things Joseph needs me to do to protect us..” John’s voice cracked as he hung his head. “I don’t know how I am going to do what is needed of me and come home to her…” He gestured towards the still sleeping Lily. “How can I come home… after I make someone confess every one of their darkest and deepest sins to me… and pick her up and her not be tainted…” He looked at his hands and brought them to his face. “How can I hold her with the same hands…” 

  
  


Quickly, I scoot across the couch and take his hands in my own. “Because those are the same hands that held her right after she was born, that will be there to pick her up when she falls.” I held his hands tightly. “Yes, you may have to do things to appease your brother because right now we have no choice… none…” John closed his eyes knowing I spoke the truth. “If the Collapse happens then we have to prepare and appeasing Joseph is part of that. You have to be the Baptist…. I know this but you don’t have to be that here.” I whispered looking down at his hands. “Here… just be John…” 

Pulling his hands out of mine John reached out and pulled me to him. Holding me tightly. He kissed the top of my head as he mumbled. “What if I can’t?” I pulled back and looked up at him. “What if what I must do… changes me?” 

I shook my head. “Not why you have me…” I whispered reaching up and resting my hand on the back of his neck. “I will make sure you stay the man I love… not consumed by other’s sins…” 

“Promise?” John whispered. 

“Yes..” I answered back softly as he leaned in and kissed me. His hands gripping my sides like I was all that keeping him tethered to this world, because perhaps I was.


End file.
